It became clear to me that no matter how healthy I ate, how much nutritional information I knew, or how much I worked out, these things weren’t getting to the ROOT of why I was so out of control with food.
Other areas of discussion:
– Refusing to settle
– Having trouble finding a therapist that can relate
– Feeling compulsive in front of food
– Digesting emotions
– The power of nature and taking breaks
I used to have this thing with granola. A seemingly healthy food…but when I would eat it I would go through an entire bag in a matter of seconds.
It wasn’t until my hand hit the bottom of the bag that I would “wake up” from my food trance wondering what alien creature had taken over my body and “who ate all my food?”
No matter what I ate – healthy or unhealthy – I always felt crazy and compulsive around food. Food ran my life. It was a secret I kept for over 20 years of my life.
I tried to talk to my friends about how my overeating was out of control. They simply said, “Oh Jessica, don’t worry. Everyone does that!” Then we’d sign up for a spin class to work off what I overate the night before. It was a valiant effort to make me feel better. But it only made things worse.
I tried to seek help in therapy. I spent over 932 hours in therapy and it never touched my relationship with food. Many of the therapists I saw just wanted to put me on some type of medication. Another quick fix.
I was already using food to numb myself. I didn’t want to be numb anymore.
At that point, I had binged ate my way through nutrition school and had become burned out from teaching too many fitness classes on the side.
Listen to the full episode here.