you are not alone ❤️
I used to have this thing with granola. A seemingly healthy food…but when I would eat it I would go through an entire bag in a matter of seconds.
It wasn’t until my hand hit the bottom of the bag that I would “wake up” from my food trance wondering what alien creature had taken over my body and “who ate all my food?”
No matter what I ate – healthy or unhealthy – I always felt crazy and compulsive around food. Food ran my life. It was a secret I kept for over 20 years of my life.
I tried to talk to my friends about how my overeating was out of control. They simply said, “Oh Jessica, don’t worry. Everyone does that!” Then we’d sign up for a spin class to work off what I overate the night before. It was a valiant effort to make me feel better. But it only made things worse.
I tried to talk to my partner about it. He’d tell me, “Oh, Jessica. I’ll love you no matter what size you are.” What a lovely response. But what boggled my mind was how could he love me when all I wanted to do was crawl out of my own skin.
I tried to seek help in therapy. I spent over 932 hours in therapy and it never touched my relationship with food. Many of the therapists I saw just wanted to put me on some type of medication. Another quick fix.
I was already using food to numb myself. I didn’t want to be numb anymore.
At that point, I had binged ate my way through nutrition school and had become burned out from teaching too many fitness classes on the side.
It became clear to me that no matter how healthy I ate, how much nutritional information I knew, or how much I worked out, these things weren’t getting to the root of why I was so out of control with food.
My last resort was Overeaters Anonymous. But, I could never get myself to go to a meeting. It just didn’t resonate with me.
I wanted answers. I wanted tools. Most of all, I wanted to change. Food was interfering with the life I wanted to live, the woman I wanted to be.
But when it came to support that was a right fit for me, that got to the roots, it didn’t exist.
I remember standing alone in my kitchen one cold December day. I had just finished stuffing myself with food till I was numb. I did this so often that that numbing feeling felt so comfortable, so familiar.
I started to feel like there was something wrong with me. Like I was missing the “peace with food” gene or something.
Scared and alone, I honestly asked myself, “Am I going to have to live with this crazy compulsive relationship with food for the rest of my life?”
It was then that I saw a flash of what my life would look like if it did.
I saw that the more responsibilities that piled on my plate, the more I would turn to food.
I saw myself getting married and having kids and secretly eating in the corner of the kitchen after everyone went to sleep.
Most of all, I saw myself hallow and numb…a shell of a human…just going through the motions and shoving everything down with food.
This was NOT the life I wanted to live.
I knew I was meant to be more and do more in this life.
I knew I had a purpose, a mission.
I knew I was made for more.
I know these same things are true for you too.
But my crazy compulsive relationship with food took up so much of my time, energy, and brain space. I knew if I wanted to fulfill my life’s mission, I had to get this food thing under control.
Food HAD to stop interfering with my life.
That’s when I dedicated myself to investigating every single nook and cranny of my relationship with food. It was then that I started to look at all aspects – the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual.
The results from my research shocked me.
Here were my 3 big discoveries:
First, I discovered that simply focusing on fitness and nutrition, like I had been, was not going to heal my relationship with food. Because my freedom didn’t live in what I was eating. My freedom was at the root of WHY I was eating. I had to get to the root.
Second, I discovered that my eating behaviors were tangled up with my mind, emotions, beliefs, and past experiences. I knew I had to untangle them so food could be fuel again, a nourishing asset to my life.
Finally, from over a decade of my deep dedicated research, I discovered patterns. Patterns in my emotional eating behavior. These patterns are what I now call The 4 Roots of Emotional Eating™. I knew that I had to weed out these patterns, these roots, in order to fully be free.
And that’s exactly what I did.
Now, it’s been 5 years since I last emotionally ate.
I no longer feel crazy and compulsive around food.
I eat when I’m hungry. I stop when I’m full.
My relationship with food is simple.
Food is a nourishing asset, not a self-destructive one.
I know how to manage my stress, anxiety, and overwhelm. I have created tools that work way better than numbing myself with food, ever did.
Food no longer interferes with the life I want to live.
I am free.
All of this is what has led me to the creation of Escape From Emotional Eating, my transformational year-long programs and retreats, and giving various talks and workshops around the world.
Those 3 big discoveries, that focusing on nutrition and fitness won’t set us free, that we have to untangle our relationship with food and then heal the roots of our emotional eating, these are at the core of what I now teach and how I work with my clients.
My personal experience and willingness to share so openly about that + my research is what makes my work so different than any other support out there. It’s also why my work is so effective.
If anything I shared here in my story resonates with you, let’s talk. Click here to apply for a complimentary conversation with me where we’ll explore which of the Escape From Emotional Eating Programs is a fit for you.
Your relationship with food is holding you back. It’s time we set you free