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When I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw

3 years ago I attended a retreat with my mentor and I was required to look in the metaphorical mirror at myself and I didn’t like what I saw.

She asked me to write down on a scale of 1-10 (10 being 100%) how committed I was.

My mind immediately jumped to write, “I’m a 10!”

Almost as quickly as I received the first answer, I also heard another soft, grounded voice say to me, “If you’re really a 10, then why aren’t you getting what you want? Especially with food and your body, Jessica?”

See, at that point I was 35 pounds heavier than I am now. I was living in a black hole of frustration, disappointment, and the deep belief that “there must be something wrong with me”.

When I honestly re-evaluated myself, I finally settled on a 5. My real answer stabbed me in the chest.

I had to face this heavy realization that my true inner desires did not match my external actions.

I truly desired to show up as a 10 in ALL areas of my life, but in reality I was only showing up as a 5.

In addition, I realized how every time I would eat and eat and eat till I went numb, I was abandoning my myself and my true desires.

Overcome with tears of truth, I shared what I was seeing with the group and said, “I’m not going home because it took me 2 cabs, 2 buses and a train to get here. So if I’m going to be here, I choose to be a 10.”

Was I scared? Absolutely!

Rightfully so because this was a HUGE turning point in my journey.

THIS was the catalyst that helped me fully heal my relationship with food and create a body of work to teach and support other women in doing the same.

I used to think that being fully committed to anything or anyone would feel like hell, but it has actually has brought me so much freedom! And miraculously, choosing to be a 10 eliminated many of my old self-sabotaging patterns.

This decision meant I was no longer able to be a victim in my life. I was the AUTHOR of it!

And this is the exact work that I do with my clients; I guide women to owning their own version being of a 10.

So, as your coach I have to ask you: on a scale of 1-10, how committed are you?

No right, no wrong, no judgment.

Simply a question… with an answer…

Let’s start there.

Fiercely loving you,

PS., if you felt a shift by reading this, please share this link with a friend or family member who you know could really receive support from what you just read as well.

Thank you for helping to create this healing ripple effect.


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